I got home late Saturday evening after spending almost 3 weeks in Europe.  The final day was all travel, and even though a napped briefly on my flight from London to Chicago, I was pretty exhausted when I finally walked through the door of my Home, Sweet Home.

After dropping my bags, the first thing I noticed was a big ole splatter of bird poop right smack in the middle of the window over the kitchen sink.

It was 10 PM on Saturday night.  I had been on the go for almost 24 hours.  Even though the splatter bothered me, I decided to ignore it. I unpacked, created little piles of laundry, fixed myself a glass of water, and went to bed.

On Sunday morning, the bird poop was still there.  I averted my eyes when I made coffee.  I spent all day in the great room – which is open to the kitchen.  I tried to pretend I didn’t see the bird poop.    But honestly, this was a six inch splatter right in the middle of the window – exactly at eye level.  It was kind of hard to pretend it didn’t exist.  But all day, I alternated between ignoring it – and telling myself I had to get all the laundry done before I tackled it.

On Monday morning, while the coffee was brewing, I just couldn’t ignore this giant splatter any longer.  I armed myself with Windex and a roll of paper towels.  I  pulled off my slippers, grabbed the step stool, and climbed up on top of the kitchen counter.    I balanced myself  to avoid stepping into the sink.  Then, I flipped the window open (like in this photo).

Not only was there bird poop on the window, but it was on the screen too.  I rinsed the screen, cleaned the window, and put everything back in place.  Then I washed my hands.  The whole process took 15 minutes.

After wards, I fixed my first cup of coffee and was able to really savor while looking out my crystal clear window.   I felt so free and accomplished – all from spending 15 minutes washing the bird poop away.

Then it hit me.   Our minds are sometimes like my kitchen window.

Our dreams and inner most desires peek at us – like sunshine through the clouds.  We allow our colliding thoughts and “have tos” keep us from digging into what we want the most.   But then, we we sit down to try to “think” about what we want, we just feel muddled.

What we most desire is to gaze forward with crystal clear insight. 

But like my kitchen window, it’s hard to hone in on what we want the most thanks to the big ole splatter of bird poop in the way.  So, you can choose to ignore the callings of your heart.  You can pretend that you don’t have dreams or desires outside of what you are currently doing.  Or.  You can decide to take a few moments of time to clear away the colliding thoughts and ask yourself some questions about what you want at this point in your life.

In addition to serving as the Editor in Chief of All Things Girl, I also work as a life coach.  My next eCourse,  “30 Days to Clarity:  Clearing Brain Clutter – Discovering Your Heart’s Desire” begins on Sunday, May 13th.  It’s designed to help you clear away the brain clutter and bring your dreams into focus.

Each day of the program, you get an email with a writing prompt or activity, all designed to assist you methodically step towards clearing away your brain clutter so that you can unearth what you most want in life.

By the way, for any one suffering from severe writer’s block, this course is a great way to break through.

I’d love for you to join me. ((Click here to register.))

Arm yourself with a step ladder, Windex and paper towels so that you can see clearly through the window of your heart to what you really want the most.

Before reading Bonds of Blood and Spirit: Loyalties, by Wendi Kelly and Deborah Dorchak, I had no idea what a shape shifter was. Now, I’m up to speed and waiting for the next edition in the series. You’re not sure what I mean by shape shifter? Well, there’s only one solution to that problem- read this book!

You’ll be delighted. I surely was.

Bonds of Blood and Spirit: Loyalties is a book of connections; family, romantic, soul, spirit, self.  This is truly a work of fiction, but the delights, trials, heroics, and adventures of the characters call for the reader to take part in the journey of love and growth – of and between the players.

At first the shifting from human to animal forms that the characters undergo took me a minute to wrap my head around. But the authors took time to describe the process and educate me as to how this happens. The reader even gets to experience the fear of the newby going through his first shift; a great way to make this whole thing acceptable to the reader. Additionally, the background information and ties to real life provided by the authors helped me to quickly relax into the idea of shape shifting and come to expect it as a natural occurrence.

This story however, is about WAAAY more than shifting from human to animal. The love connections, both romantic and familial, are intense. This southern gal wasn’t quite prepared for the romance and found herself blushing a time or two. After all, I selected the book while looking for action/adventure. Does the “hot stuff” mean I was disappointed in my search for action/adventure? Heck no! This book was a page turner, complete with a twist that had my head reeling.

Let’s just say the authors of this one are not afraid to kill anybody!

Before I let any cats out of the bags- I’ll finish up with my recommendation: READ IT!

On my last line let me just question the authors: When is the sequel coming? I hear the cover has been designed and it’s close to press. Do tell!

Whether we grow up to be modern and independent or more traditional, there is a time in almost every woman’s life when she’s a little girl dreaming about her ideal wedding. And Cynthia Silver, creator of the one-woman show Bridezilla Strikes Back! was no different. But then she grew up, and agreed to be part of a documentary. Even if she’d never created this performance piece, we think she’d be pretty fabulous. She recently let us interview her, and the result is a lovely glimpse into the world of a funny, wise, creative person. Enjoy!

Our readers may recognize your name, your voice, or your face – if not all three – but tell us a bit about who you are, and how you got where you are today.

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. My parents divorced when I was eight and my mom remarried when I was a Freshman in high school. A lot of changes and many challenges took their toll on my self-esteem and sense of belonging.

Theater was my safe haven. The place where I fit in, where I was free to express myself and where I felt heard. I moved to New York to attend NYU Tisch School of Arts, where I studied acting at the Atlantic Theater Company, founded by playwright David Mamet and actor William H. Macy. I remember after my first week of school, I called my mom and told her, “I’m home.”

Was a career in the performing arts always part of your plan, or did you dabble in other fields, first?

Well…I did have a 2-year stint as a “regular college student” before transferring to NYU.

It never occurred to me that a life in the theater was an option beyond being extra-curricular until I went off to UCLA as a “general studies” student. I flailed about, partied a lot, and got my heart broken. I left early in my third year.

Practically the day after I moved home to the Bay Area, I auditioned for a play at one of the most reputable community theaters on the Peninsula and was immediately cast. After that, I never considered a life without theater.

Is there a role model, mentor or other guiding force who helped you along the road to success?

Oh my goodness…so many!! But, since this is All Things Girl, I feel compelled to tell you about a group my dear friend, Marcia DeBonis formed called “The Hyphenates.”

We’re a group of actresses who all have at least one hyphen in their job descriptions. For instance, Marcia is an actress-casting director. Other members of The Hyphenates include actress-director-producer Carrie Preston, actress-writer Kellie Overbey, actress-dancer-writer-choreographer Susie Misner, actress-writer-director-producer Julie Ann Emery, actress-playwright Susan Ferrara. Last we counted, Mary McCann and I are neck-and neck for the most amount of hyphens. (Mary is an actress-teacher-executive director of the Atlantic Acting School-producer-entrepreneur-mother. And, I’m an actress-teacher-writer-director-producer-inventor-entrepreneur-mother.)

It’s a powerhouse group. And, although we’ve only met a few times in the last six months (which, in itself is pretty remarkable, considering our schedules!), so many benefits have already been reaped. New friendships and business relationships have been made and established. Last week, we got together and read Susan Ferrara’s brilliant new play, so she could hear it out loud and get honest feedback in a safe and trusted environment. It’s so inspiring and (sadly) refreshing to be in a room full of actresses supporting and celebrating other actresses.

As an entertainer, you live much of your life in the public eye. How do you balance your public and private personas? Is there a difference, or are you pretty much the same on and off the stage?

An actor is required to live truthfully and impulsively when acting out the given scenario of the story. We are to be fully in our bodies and engaged in the present moment, listening to our gut and trusting our instincts.

This is a tall order since, unfortunately, most of us live our lives in a state of self-consciousness. The act of being in the moment, therefore, is an altered state that requires continued and constant practice. So, it becomes next to impossible to compartmentalize the way I’m to approach imaginary circumstances with the way I approach my real-life circumstances. I am always striving to live whole-heartedly in the present tense, embrace challenge and lean into difficulty and let my imperfect self be seen.

Of course, that’s easier said than done, isn’t it?

Even in the arts, the job isn’t everything; other than the work we know you for, what are you passionate about?

Okay, my head is about to explode. There are just so many things I’m passionate about, hence all the hyphens!!!

What advice would you give to other women who want to do what you do?

Turn up the volume on your inner voice. That gut instinct that tells you when something is worth going for and that nagging feeling when something just doesn’t seem right. Saying no is just as, if not more, powerful as saying yes.

Now is your opportunity to tell us what we missed! What question should we have asked, that we didn’t (and what’s the answer to it)?

What is the genesis of your one woman show, Bridezilla Strikes Back!?

When I was planning my wedding in 2002, I was approached by a British production company to participate in a documentary series with the working title, “Manhattan Brides.”

It was pitched as a series about “…successful, New York women who, as well as preparing for the ‘W day’ are also running businesses, or careers. These women should represent how things are done, New York style.” It was to air on ITV in the UK and on the Women’s Entertainment Network in the US the following year.

I agreed to participate, and had a ball doing it until the footage was sold to FOX, and tellingly renamed “Bridezillas,” becoming a closer rendition of what ‘reality television’ exemplifies today. The footage was edited, resulting in a distorted portrayal of these very driven, ambitious, Manhattan career women as self-obsessed lunatics driven by perfectionism at any cost, including their relationships. This aired as a one-hour “special” on FOX, leading into their current hit at that time, “Joe Millionaire.” I was deemed “Neurotic Bride #2″ to the show’s eleven million viewers as one of the happiest days of my life was chronicled in perpetuity under the subtitle Life’s a Bitch and Then You Marry One! The eight-episode series then aired on the Women’s Entertainment Network. And, while WE’s tagline at the time was “WE empowers women,” I was mocked on TV, pilloried in the press and chat rooms, and ridiculed in re-runs and countless promos. Not to mention, the industry that I was attempting to make my mark in suddenly saw me as none other than reality TV trash. It was not pretty.

In an attempt to set the record straight and tell the story of my naive foray into the world of not-so-real TV, I took a solo show writing class taught by actor-playwright Matt Hoverman. I studied with Matt and did several workshops of my play for a year before enlisting the help of playwright Kenny Finkle to collaborate on the show that made its debut in 2005 at the NY International Fringe Festival. The show was one of the hits of FringeNYC that year, winning Outstanding Solo Show and gaining much critical acclaim. It also re-legitimized me in the eyes of the industry and put my acting career back on track. In fact, the initial reason fellow Hyphenate Marcia DeBonis and I are in each other’s lives began with her approaching me, in tears, after having just seen my show at FringeNYC. Not only has she become my professional Fairy Godmother, calling me in for roles she’s casting that I may be right for, but she has also become one of my dearest friends and confidantes since that day, bonding for the first time in lobby of the theater. The conversation started with Bridezilla Strikes Back! Lots of lemonade came from what was, initially, a mountain of lemons.

The show has had several incarnations since FringeNYC and is currently being presented at the Laurie Beechman Theatre, downstairs at the West Bank Café, a well known theater luminary hangout on 42nd St & 9th Ave in NYC. Initially, I was concerned that the show would be considered dated and no longer relevant, since reality TV has since become such a staple in the fabric of our culture. But, I have found that the show’s impact hits much deeper for that very reason. The part of the show where I venture online to read about what other women say about me, for instance. In light of recent events such as the political “war on women” and Ashley Judd’s “puffy face” ordeal, suddenly the cyber bullying I encounter on the message boards of TheKnot.com take on a whole new meaning. I’m more inspired than ever to bring as much truth and honesty to the piece as I can in hopes that perhaps the young women in the audience will think twice before lashing out and attacking the integrity of other women.

You can see Cynthia in her one-woman, award-winning show, Bridezilla Strikes Back! Saturdays in May at the Laurie Beechman Theater in New York City.

You can also find Cynthia online on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest or one of her two websites: BabyInTow.com or CynSilver.com.

Kaleidoscope is a delightful source of enjoyment for adults to share with their young folks.  My son, Cooper who is eleven years old, loves to open the boxes of books that come to our door for review. Sometimes he sticks with me and other times he loses interest quickly and moves on.

When Kaleidoscope arrived he was hooked.

That’s the first test around here. If a book can keep my reluctant reader interested we are well on our way to an interesting event. And so it was with this book. Cooper and I enjoyed Kaleidoscope as a bed time read aloud.

Don’t be fooled though, children much younger than Cooper will be excited to explore this one. Just make sure those under three are supervised.

The black cover with brightly colored design attracted us from the box, but as soon as we touched the book, we were propelled into fiddling with the spinning plastic orb. Yes! You actually get to manipulate the orb to simulate a real kaleidoscope. That’s the fun and entertainment.

It only took a minute for us to discover the best way to manipulate the pages and the orb. We’re the type that doesn’t read instructions- although the author does show you how to do it. So, right away we were enjoying the vibrant colors within and the way that each individual picture contributes to the composite picture.

Throughout our interaction with the book, Cooper kept saying, “I love this book. This is a great book.” As for the text, you know I’m a lover of rhyme. It is fun and great for those young minds developing vocabulary skills. I enjoyed the carefully chosen words of this book that create visions and have rhyme.

All the way around, this one’s a winner for us!

Review by Wynn Godbold

A+ rating for this one folks! This is a no non-sense down to the facts book written in simple language for parents that also speaks to educators.

I am a parent, an educator, and a mentor to educators. I enjoyed and learned from this book in all three of these mindsets. Tyre writes with authority and compassion. By directing parents of what to look for in schools, she clearly gives teachers an insight into what aspects of their practice are critical, yet somehow never discussed among professional circles. For example, Tyre points out the importance of vocabulary development in young children, sites a survey by Hart and Risley done in the 1990’s, and explains the connection between the two and picking a pre-school teacher/environment for your child. She then relates this to long term learning consequences evident as late as the seventh grade.

This information is helpful to parents, but also to educators. It gives background and reasons for elevating conversations with pre-school children. As educators, we don’t talk about this sort of teaching practice on a regular basis. For that reason (and more like it throughout the book) this writing speaks volumes to and gives professional confidence to teachers.

I encourage all parents and educators to spend time reading chapter two. This chapter is dedicated to understanding standardized testing. Written for parents, but eye-opening for educators, Tyre exposes the inner workings of the making of standardized tests. In the same way she does for every chapter in the book, at the end of this chapter Tyre lists The Take Aways. On chapter two’s list Tyre states:

“If school administrators easily and breezily equate ‘We have good test scores’ with ‘We’re doing a good job’- beware. Some people in these positions don’t actually understand the limits of what those test scores are measuring. Some do, and are counting on the fact that you won’t.”

Reading chapter two will enable the reader to understand why statements such as the above are a red flag. This is a “must read” chapter for all parents and educators.

Parents- The bottom line in Tyre’s book: the quality of the teacher in the classroom is paramount to your child’s success AND the quality of that teacher is impacted by the structure of the school. So, when looking for “the Good School” for your child, look for schools that identify, encourage, and enhance good instruction in methodical and serious ways. Take the power that Tyre shares through background knowledge and ask questions when you visit schools. Find out what administrators have in place to support teachers and good teaching practices- systematically. Use the questions Tyre lists in her book. What you need to find the “Good School” for your child is in the pages.

For teachers, take the information Tyre shares and start asking for the support she describes. Teachers in all schools should be involved in learning communities and given professional time to do so. Use this book as a resource and jumping off point to begin your own professional interactions with your colleagues and to approach your administrators for support.

Administrators, this is a must read. Ideas will flow after reading this book as to how to set up your learning communities; how to support your teachers. How to change the climate and ultimately improve student achievement- in authentic ways!

The Good School is clearly one of the best books I have read on what really matters in educating our children, what makes the best teachers, how to support teachers over the long haul for increased authentic achievement for all students.

A+ to Peg Tyre on her book.

“Come on, Beck!” they’d taunt. “Jump in, NOW! We’ll count you in…one, two, three, and go!”

The first few times I faltered and the rope fell unceremoniously on my head, puddling in soggy loops at my feet.

“Go again,” they said, encouraging me.

I watched, waited, bided my time, aiming to run under the rope the precise minute it hit the apex and be ready to jump! as soon as it brushed the ground.

What a thrill that first time I made it in! It was so exciting that I almost stopped, but remembered in time and made it through a dozen or so jumps before I lost my momentum.

The first time is always the hardest and after that initiation I became fearless, jumping in with barely a moment’s hesitation. Soon, I could jump simultaneously with one or even two others, as the twirlers chanted favorite skipping songs to cheer us on.

I’m not a big risk taker, not one to plunge headfirst into challenge. I tend to wait a long time, watching the rope go round and round, trying to judge the safest moment to make my move.  This method has always been successful for me, because once I’ve gathered my courage and taken the initiative to jump in, the experience has been positive and pleasurable.

What holds me back from taking that first leap into the fray?

Fear.

Fear of failure.

Fear of appearing foolish.

Fear of hurting myself.

Any or all of these fear factors could be relevant to the situation I’m faced with jumping into.

But it helps to have some cheerleaders on the sidelines, advising me to “Jump in now!” and encouraging me to “Go again!” if I miss. That’s why I try to get a friend or two to join me in any new activity – we keep each other motivated and honest when inspiration starts to wane.

We all need those folks in our lives who urge us on, counting us in so we can jump successfully into the middle of life and start skipping.

How about you? Have you jumped into the middle of anything recently?

The theme of this second issue of 2012 is “Color!”.    When we planned the themes for the year, we wanted to bring single word that could be interpreted in a variety of ways.

We began as a Literary / Arts ‘Zine in August 2001, and in honor of that core, you will find both Writings and Arts that show how folks interpret “Color”.  Everything Girl never fails to WOW me, and here you will find inspirational columns and interviews with fabulous folks.

Be sure and check out  part one of our interview with Cover Girl – the fabulous Kate Swoboda  as well as our sexy Man of the Moment, actor Parker Young.

Do take some time to fix yourself a lovely glass of iced tea and enjoy the wonderfulness that is Color.  We’ve added nifty “Tweet” and “Like” buttons and comments are open, so do share your thoughts with us – and tell your friends!

Don’t forget to keep an eye on The Blog.  You’ll also be treated to some wonderful interviews, reviews, and fabulous guest posts.

We will be accepting submissions for “Color” until May 5th, so don’t hesitate to share with us how you see  it.    As always, we are looking to the future and welcoming submissions for upcoming issues in 2012 as well as reviews and guest blogs.  We’d love to see what you’ve got!

I hope that you take time to color your world with love and creativity.

Much love and light to you.

Debra Smouse

Editor in Chief

When I first discovered Kate Swoboda, I was hooked by her brilliant voice of wisdom and truth. We interviewed her back in September as she was launching The Coaching Blueprint for new and emerging coaches and am thrilled to go deeper with Kate in this two part interview.

In case folks missed our interview with you in September, give us your “elevator” speech.

I’m Kate Swoboda, sometimes known online as Kate Courageous. I’m a life coach, speaker and writer, and I work with women who want to live powerfully through practicing courage.

You’ve been a force of good online for almost a decade; share with our readers the evolution of Kate Swoboda.

Has it been a decade, really? ;-) I started writing online as a means of self-expression, and never anticipated that it would turn into what it has ultimately become—blogging, writing, and making a livelihood through a website. My first websites were very diarist, just a record of my life and my thoughts on life. I liked connecting with readers. I was pretty secretive about my blog with “IRL” people, because I was so open and vulnerable that it felt like too much to have someone knowing that much about me.

In service to transparency, what felt so open and vulnerable to admit was that I had a fractious relationship with my family; I had at various points in my life been depressed, suicidal, bulimic, a cutter; I felt isolated from people around me.

My blog (and I) evolved past those times, and as I grew older it was still diarist but became musings on life—what I was learning, discovering, how I was growing. I became a coach in 2006, though from 2006-2008, coaching was a side gig to being an English professor at a local college. I tried in 2008 to make coaching a full-time gig, but went about it in completely the wrong way (basically, with a “if you build it, they will come” mentality). By the end of 2009, I started to find my footing, mostly because I’d aligned with my vision for myself and what I really wanted to do with what I was offering to the world: I wanted to educate, inspire, and lead people around a shared and co-created vision of living 100% fully alive. The way to do that? By practicing courage, a skill that I’ve refined and continue to work.

Your Courageous Life launched at the end of 2009. It’s my hope that rather than have it as an expressive outlet, it’s a resource for people who are challenged by some of the same things that I struggled with and that I still can struggle with, at times: being present to my life; acceptance; loving and having compassion when people are acting like, well…assholes.

A pretty central question to my site is: How do we make the choice to love ourselves and others, even when it’s hard? I think practicing courage is the answer.

What is your Life vision?

To completely and totally love and accept myself, so that I can completely and totally love and accept everyone else, and thus facilitate healing in the world.

I would want anyone reading this to know that I consider this a shared vision—feel free to adopt it for yourself, as well. Then comes the good part: asking yourself, daily, if you’re living it.

How did “courage” become your cause?

In 2008, I spent a month traveling around Europe. Before leaving, I queried some local papers about writing articles—a series I was calling, “Dispatches from Europe.” Two of my article ideas were picked up, and from there, my trip took on some additional magic—I was staying at luxury boutique hotels, for free, eating amazing meals, meeting amazing people, catching planes/trains/automobiles and feeling freer than I’d ever felt before.

People kept commenting on how “amazing” it was that I’d made it happen, and a few commented on how they would do the same thing if they had the money, the time, etc., etc. I looked around at my life. I was living on a small teacher’s salary at the time, with very little money coming in from coaching. I didn’t have a lot of time, either—but somehow, I had parlayed the idea of traveling for 30 days into an even grander adventure. What had had me thinking, “I can do this,” whereas someone else thought they couldn’t?

I realized from that experience the true definition of practicing courage: it’s feeling afraid (because no one gets out of that part), diving in anyway (because what else would you do—stay stuck?), and transforming (which is always what happens when we meet our fearful edges).

I thought about my life and all the things I’d ever done where anyone had looked at it and said, “I wish I could do that, but…”. I realized that every time I’d done anything—write a book, start a coaching practice, take this trip, etc.—I’d been practicing courage. I was afraid, just like everyone else. I just didn’t see any reason why my being afraid meant I shouldn’t be doing it. Fear was along for the ride. I tattooed the word “courage” on my shoulder, in Sanskrit, shortly after that trip.

I still didn’t fully embrace it as my cause, though—that came later. In 2009, I spent a summer in Italy, and again, the same old messages about “wish I could…but…” were all around me, some of them coming from the same people. I realized that one person in particular who was saying these things was someone who made three times as much money as I did and who lived in a less expensive part of the United States (I live near San Francisco). I realized that it was all just fear—that person was afraid and letting it stop her, whereas I was afraid but doing it anyway.

I got the idea to have a retreat at the villa where I stayed—but before then, I thought, I’d try an e-course. Then things really started connecting and it was like, “Wait—the big dream is to amp up my coaching practice, to do this and this and this other thing…what am I waiting for?”

Could you tell us a little bit about what your current projects are?  Share a brief “break down” of your big projects and main offerings.

In addition to one-on-one coaching, I offer downloadable e-programs and—starting soon—I’m going to be doing some tele-circle groups.

The thing that excites me most about this technological age is this: no one needs to be alone!

I just ran a Breathing Space circle with 6 women hailing from different areas (one woman was calling in from Australia!) and they became such good friends that they are planning to continue to stay in touch on their own.

Many people who use my e-programs tell me that they start their day with them—they sit down with a morning cup of coffee and take 20 minutes to watch a video where they get a bit of a “virtual me” to interact with, and read something that touches their lives.

Do you feel you had a “turning point” in your life?  Can you share some of the story with us?

In 2005, I was out for a routine run and felt that something was “off” in my foot. I limped home. Doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong; even an MRI revealed no scar tissue or damage. It turned out that I had dislocated a bone in my foot so slightly that it wouldn’t turn up on an x-ray.

The verdict? Multiple doctors said that I would need to wear an orthotic for the rest of my life, and that running was not a good idea.

I know, I know—that sounds like the beginning of Born to Run by Chris McDougall (which I have read, and loved). In my case, I didn’t head down to Mexico to meet the Tarahumara—I decided that the doctors didn’t know what they were talking about. For two years, after a succession of chiropractors, I met the one who could fix my foot. He did it in five visits. For several months after that, I took a daily walk in which I repeated to myself, “With every step I take, my foot is getting better and better.”

Today, I’m a runner again. I’m training for a marathon at the end of this year.

The lesson I learned, and that I hope anyone reading this will take away? Don’t let other people define what you’re capable of. Somewhere out there, there is an answer to your challenge. If you take full responsibility for your life, it will present itself faster than you could imagine.

In what ways do you see women giving up their power and how do you keep yours burning bright?

I think the ways that women give up their power aren’t exclusive to women: it boils down to not taking responsibility for your life.

That might seem like a response that’s too direct, or possibly unfair given the very real forces of oppression that are out there. My take on that is that everyone’s work is to heal from something, and that very commitment to healing—that right there!—is a form of “taking responsibility for your life.” Yes, some of us have more access than others. And—whatever access you have—take responsibility for your life.

This is a practice. This is not just done in one fell swoop. I’m powerful when I take responsibility for my life, and yes, sometimes I don’t—I want to make it someone else’s fault.

One of the tricky things with this terrain is that someone might start “taking responsibility for” their lives and work in vain against anyone having any kind of effect on them (“If I’m taking responsibility for my life, that person won’t bother me!”).

For me, taking responsibility for your life also means: cry when you need to cry. Laugh at every opportunity that presents itself, and actively seek those opportunities. When you’re angry, beat the shit out of a pillow. Living 100% fully alive, living powerfully, is not about selective numbing or striving for some version of yourself that would be “improved.”

Living 100% fully alive is about embracing everything that comes into the circle of your existence. Taking responsibility for your life is, in fact, a very non-violent position—because it’s rooted in acceptance combined with right action.

How do I live powerfully? By making this my practice. I’m like anyone else on the planet—if I’m not working my tools, staying present, checking in to make sure I’m in integrity, I’m lost.

How do you begin to turn around the inner dialogue of “something is wrong with me”?

With gentleness. With acceptance for that voice. With an interest and curiosity in why it’s there and what it has to teach you. With care. With presence. With respectful boundaries.

I believe that when we attack that voice and turn away from that voice, which is the voice of some part of us that is wounded, we just drive the wound deeper. So—if that wound were a small, 10-year-old girl who believed that something was wrong with her, how would you speak to her? And would you be willing to speak to her that way every single day, until she no longer believed that something was wrong with her—because you loved her that much?

Can you give us some thoughts on numbing?  Why we do it – and how to stop it?

Numbing is a form of fear—so practice courage. Get curious about the numbing—why do I do this? Why is this my habitual reaction? What benefit does it give me? The answer to that latter question is usually a reflexive, “None whatsoever,” but we do things because we get a very real payoff. I often think that numbing in particular is a response that attempts to control the flip-side feelings of overwhelm—everything coming at us at once, too fast.

The place to start with anything is accepting it, getting curious about it. Get some answers for it, and don’t make it “wrong” for being in your life.

Find Kate on the web at: YourCourageousLife.Com.  Join us in May24th for Part Two of our interview.

In light of the All Things Girl “Color” Edition, it is only fitting to speak to Christine Mason Miller, artist, author and ATG Alumnae. We each have our own inner color, a creative energy bursting to get out through our thoughts, actions and talents. I had the opportunity to interview Christine about her book, “Desire to Inspire”, her art, and living life in constant celebration.

Tell our readers about your background: where are you from, and what led you to write for a living?

I am originally from the east coast, but switched coasts in 1995. I initially moved to Santa Barbara and have since made my way to Santa Monica, where I write, create, and do whatever I can do to inspire others to live a passionate, meaningful life. My work has always been about inspiration, encouragement and personal growth, and the ideas, stories and experiences I have wanted to share have been expressed in a number of different ways. I have used illustration, licensed products, graphic design, mixed media artwork, books, classes and stories. My work has shifted more towards writing over the past few years, an evolution that feels natural. As my personal work and beliefs have deepened, I have wanted to be able to express more specific ideas, and I think writing is the best way to do that.

What inspired you to tell this story?

I have, for a long time, been very curious about why so many of us (“us” as in our creative community) have this desire to inspire others and make a positive difference in the world. We all have this sense of service and purpose and light within us, and I wanted to learn more about how that came about and how that can be expressed and lived and shared.

How did you find the 20 women to help tell the story in “Desire to Inspire”?

They are all women I know. I have a lot of extraordinary friends and connections!

What prompted or inspired you to write your most recent piece?

I would say my most recent piece was a blog entry I wrote last week about not always feeling like I have my act together. It was a short piece, and very simple, very honest. I received some amazing comments from that entry ~ readers were appreciative of my willingness to be truthful about the days when I feel decidedly out of the flow.

We know about this book, but what else have you written that we may not be as familiar with?

I wrote and illustrated a gift book called Plant Your Dreams and the Miracles Will Grow and I created and published Ordinary Sparkling Moments. I’ve also written a number of essays that haven’t yet seen the light of day because the literary journals and essay contests I submitted them to rejected them!

You are both a writer and an artist. How do these two creative outlets work together to inspire your work?

Writing is very precise, very still and very quiet. It is, at least physically, a fairly tidy way to work. It is work that is mainly done from within, and expressed solely through my fingertips. Creating artwork is, for me, very active, physical, messy and a little bit wild. I get lost in the work and create from my gut. Being able to do both enables me to experience a sort of yin and yang of creativity ~ it helps create a certain creative balance in my life that I really appreciate.

Where do you do your best writing (your office, curled up in bed, in public spaces)?

In my studio, at my computer, in the quiet.

What advice would you give to other creatives who aspire to have their voice be heard by a large audience?

Do your best work. Your. Best. Work. Don’t try to figure out what the public will like or what they want. Do what is uniquely yours.

You speak about celebrating the ordinary moments in life. How do you celebrate the magic of your everyday?

A lot of it has to do with living in silence. I rarely have music on and we don’t have TV. Quiet enables me to be more full present, and in that presence I am living in celebration, no matter what I’m doing.

Most writers are also avid readers. What authors did you read as a child? What authors do you read today? Do you have a favorite book or author?

I actually wasn’t a big reader as a child. I was more interested in being outside ~ riding my bike, playing in the woods, playing with my friends. If I got in trouble, my punishment was always the same:  I had to stay indoors. These days I am reading a lot of books on spirituality, including the Bible, which I’ve never read! I am reading the New Testament, John O’Donohue, C.S. Lewis, Hafiz and Pema Chodron.

What project is next on your to-do list?

A magical retreat in my favorite place in the world. That’s all I can say for now!

You can learn more about Christine Mason Miller on her website, follow her on Facebook and Twitter and do not forget to like the Desire to Inspire Facebook page!