There are so many beautiful women in my life who excel in event planning and have mastered their domestic duties. From easy breezy barbecues and couture get-togethers to organized closets and volunteer extraordinaires, I often stand in awe, knowing I posses the passion to create a positive ambiance in my home. And while I long to be a connoisseur of homemaking, I often end up questioning my natural domesticity.
Who is the Modern Domestic Woman?
After some research, my definition of the Modern Domestic Woman shifted from house cleaner and child bearer, to a girl who is simply proud of her dwelling place and all who reside in or visit it. The Modern Domestic Woman cares for her home by creating a feeling of warmth and welcome; usually through visual, social, and edible delights.
Searching for a true definition of the domestic woman in the United States, I came upon a group of ladies who composed narrative literature for women in the early 19th century. Referred to as “Domestic Fiction”, these books focused on the lives of young women growing into adulthood. An essay written by Barbara Welter in the mid 1800’s entitled, The Cult of True Womenhood, claimed women of this era were prisoners in their own homes, required to possess a mantra of piety, purity, submissiveness and domesticity.
Today, the Modern Domestic Woman is anything but a prisoner in her home. Still taking pride in her surroundings and caring for the people who reside in or are temporarily visiting its walls, the Modern Domestic Woman commands power, organization, creativity, tenacity and a flair of knowing what works (and what doesn’t work) in her home.
One might naturally assume as I did, in order to be considered domestic, you need to have a few children lingering about.
Not anymore…
Proud of her abode, whether 600 square feet or 6000, the Modern Domestic Woman may or may not have children to care for. She very well could be a single gal or a woman in a committed (but not necessarily married) relationship. Perhaps a lady who is retired or taking care of an elderly parent. The point is, she has a passion for her home and a deep desire to create memories for herself and loved ones – all in a cozy place of congregation.
These women should be celebrated in every capacity and be proud of their love for creating a home by themselves, with a significant other or an army of children behind them.
Year after year I find myself being redefined, or rather, “fine tuning” myself. The evolution of my domesticity has changed drastically from:
single gal > married working gal with no kids > stay-at-home mom > stay-at-home working mom
I have had the pleasure of enjoying each stage and while each advancement has moulded me into the domestic goddess I have become, I am at my most content today.
Over the past several months I have seen many social network posts where women are criticizing other women for their chosen domestic path. In an effort to rise above the negativity and judgment, I open this space to all domestic women of every kind to discuss and share your successes and failures. Whether you are a steadfast stay-at-home mom, a dedicated career gal, or a retired and feisty senior, I embrace you as my Domestic Sister.
No judgement. Your choices are your own and I respect you for who you are – a woman just like me who cares for her home and everyone (and everything) in it.
What makes your house a place of love and festive congregation?
Thoughts of comfort usually revolves around food in my family and a specific memory from my childhood includes the anticipation of indulging in my grandmother’s apple slices at Christmas.
Is there one specific recipe which connects to your heartstrings and defines comfort in your home? Please share it with your domestic sisters!
Photo courtesy of Etsy Shop Boojiboo
Feel free to email me your recipes at elizabethrago@hotmail.com as I would love to test out and maybe even feature your recipe in an upcoming post.
Friendship, memories, love, communion – this is what makes my home…
When I moved into my husband (then fiance)’s condo, it was very difficult for me to adjust emotionally because it wasn’t “home” to me. “Home” was 12 miles away & housed my parents, brothers & childhood pets. What helped me make the adjustment was adding my little touches here & there, eventually creating a space where I felt most comfortable (dressed or in the nude) that smelled like things I always wanted my home to smell like. I can proudly admit our home smells like beef stew, cinnamon & laundry detergent…with a dash of dog (for character). Now as we prepare our move to a house I can’t wait to build a new environment into our “home” all over again!!
Jess,
It is so important to make our mark in our homes, especially when we are sharing our space with someone else. I love how you specifically point out the sense of smell. Isn’t it amazing how we connect with a certain scent? I would like to think my home smells of jasmine and whatever is cooking on the stove top or in the oven at the time… Congrats as you move into a new home. I love new adventures and molding your own tastes into the walls of your home is sooo exciting! :)
Nice article, Elizabeth!!!
I love the feeling of my home feeling “comfortable”! And, if there is a “touch” of dog…so be it!!!!! Though, a “Roomba” would be a welcome addition!!!! :)
OOh! I love the Roomba, Laura.
We have one! Her name is Rosie (like on The Jetsons). We’ve tried to make the cats ride her around, but they aren’t into it. YouTube would love that ;)